This is a senior speaking. When we were growing up we were taught to speak to each other with respect, and to give even more deference to elders or persons in authority. Fortunately, most people I encounter, young and old are respectful. But, it is disheartening to hear people in positions of power of varying degrees, perceived or real, speak to colleagues in demeaning and rude ways. Language still reflects on the speaker.

There are words that no matter how common they become are still inappropriate. Words can be so hurtful both in content and delivery. I have seen for decades the scars children bear from the hurtful words of parents and teachers. So, I should not be surprised when adults verbally attack others out of fear, addiction, power, emotional pain and the list goes on. History tells us the stories. But . . . it still destroys one’s spirit.

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One of the favorite treats my grandmother made was fresh strawberry shortcake with real whipped cream and “Bisquick” cake served warm and buttered. Today it is a treat I make for myself and my granddaughters but with a few variations. The strawberries are fresh and soaked briefly in sugar water, the whipped cream comes in a spray can or tub and the biscuits come frozen 12 in a bag.

Recently I looked more closely at the biscuit backing directions and noticed it said to have the biscuits touching each other in the pan. (I had always separated them a bit.) Sure enough the biscuits came out bigger and better than ever. It lead me to reflect that we are like those biscuits. We, too, are bigger and better than ever when we are close to and touch each other. When we stand alone, we may rise, but not as high.

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Our brains, are such a gift and such an intricate creation of God. Our memories sustain us and comfort us. They also teach us lessons we learn by experience and guide us in processing decisions. Sometimes they shield us from painful things allowing us to forget. How sad it is when, like other parts of our body, the brain ceases to function “normally.” My step-mother is experiencing dementia and we took our granddaughters to see her recently as she has always played a vital role in their lives.

These teenagers showed great compassion and patience as they cheerfully responded to the same questions over and over. Having been a teacher and school principal, she asked about school and was right at home conversing with teens. I suggested they sing something and was floored when of all the songs they know, they chose “Amazing Grace.” (My mother’s name is Grace.)

Occasionally my step mother realized she had forgotten something or that she could no longer take us “out,” and you could see here frustration about “getting old.” Often she would tell the the girls to enjoy their lives while they were young.

Our visits were brief, but clearly meant a lot to her. Even if she did not remember the previous days’ visit she thoroughly was present and enjoyed the one at hand. It’s hard to know what to talk about when someone has memory loss. In referencing past events, you can make someone uncomfortable when they cannot recall people or things. Conversations become limited to the weather and very concrete, tangible things. Her world has narrowed significantly to present relationships and her God with fleeting memories of the rest. It makes me think how unimportant many of the things we work for an worry about truly are.

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The only pets I remember having as a child was a goldfish and some guppies. I found the fish food disgusting to dip my fingers into and the goldfish met an untimely flush. As a parent I vowed my child would have a pet, but he had allergies, so that plan was put on hold until allergy shots needed for other allergens included immunizations for dogs. Ebony, our black Chesapeake Lab changed our lives forever.

Who is Max then? Ebony’s master thought a yellow lab named Max would be a wonderful addition to the family. He was so right.

Granddaughter No. 2 often expressed her wish for a dog. I thought it would be a great opportunity to teach goal setting. We agreed to consider the possibility, research types of dogs and save for the following year. Goal-setting really works! We brought Max home a week later.

Everybody’s dog is special, but Max really is. He was well trained by his previous owner and full to the tip of his tail with unconditional adoration for all. He brings us a chair cushion when he needs to go out, or if he gets bored. He stands guard, greeting each person coming home with a wagging body and a sock. He snores all night and diligently wakes us whether we plan to get up or not. Seventy-five pounds of loveable dog on the bed tends to get one up.

The neighbor children see Max as a thief. Any balls that venture over the fence are quickly claimed. Max is very clever at pretending innocence when trying to come into the house with one or two balls in his mouth. He strongly assets his domination when a “wimpy” dog is prancing down the street and for some reason he still dislikes the UPS man. Probably because he doesn’t stay to play.

We all cherish his demands for attention, his presence as a furry speed bump wherever we are, his joyous welcomes, and even his mischievous taking of anything not nailed down if he feels like it.

What a model of acceptance, unconditional love and living in the moment.

Max

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There are indications in the fashion world of a return to the 50’s – thought to be a more stable, hopeful time. I believe we are in a time of return – a return to an old way. Builders are tending toward smaller homes, and consumers in general seem to be more cautious and restrained. I have heard several people comment on a return to values, rather than excess.

We have been living in a “more, more and more is better” time, and a new reality is setting in for many. For others who were not swept up in it, not much has changed.

This might be a good time to reflect on what is important to you. A house is a home because of the people in it; not the square footage or décor. Work is a means to provide necessities and fulfillment; luxuries and identity, but it is not more important than relationships and health.

Healthcare has always been highly valued in my family, but now as we age, we are becoming painfully aware that good, quality healthcare is becoming a luxury that fewer and fewer people can afford.

Retirement is no longer an option for many of us. Working is a good thing, but knowing you cannot stop or you will starve or be without medical care is a frightening prospect.

Education for our young people is astronomically expensive. College is no longer a given for deserving students.

Difficult times can bring out the best in people in terms of generosity and creativity. Extended families are banding together. Church and civic organizations are offering everything from encouragement and food to employment services.

I believe we are in a more value-centered, other-focused time where we need to be aware of our brothers’ needs and to step-up to our responsibilities as citizens and take action.

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Driving the beltway in Northern Virginia reminds me of life and relationships. There are always areas under construction. One can be sailing along problem free and suddenly lanes narrow, speed reduces and caution signs abound. We can be racing along in our lives and something breaks down and we must eventually stop and repair it. That may be relatively quick or may take a long period of time.

Someone may cut you off or try your patience. Have you ever hit a pothole in life or a relationship? It may throw you out of alignment, damage your vehicle or even cause an accident. Roadspray or the elements may limit your ability to see ahead, while the scenery may pull your attention elsewhere. You might take the wrong exit and need to find your way back on track.

Sometimes you may have friendly passengers along for the ride or there may be discord on the trip. Sometimes you may know where you are going and sometimes you may be lost. There are sometimes bullies on the road that intimidate you or there are cars that lead the way through the storm. We sometimes need rest stops along the way and there are often Good Samaritans on the route who stop us before we speed into disaster and rescue us when we do.

Are we there yet? Don’t we wonder this about life? Are those ducks in a row finally? Do I finally have the answers to life?

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We’re never too old to make needed changes in our lives. My husband and I are embarking on a major change in our eating habits with a goal of losing 30 and 20 pounds respectively. We stumbled upon a medical program that appears to be sound and doable. We did the South Beach diet a few years ago and were very successful, but I no longer have the time or inclination to spend hours preparing meals.

Today is Day 1 and from time to time I will update you with our progress.

There is an energy generated by starting something new and positive. There is also some trepidation about how well we will do. Holidays and business travel are ahead and will challenge our resolve. Why didn’t we wait for January 1? Because there is always a reason to postpone a challenge, so we might as well begin our journey now. I know I can find reasons to eat something unhealthy any day of the year. I don’t have a “weight problem” per se, but I have never been known to really make healthy food choices either. Chocolate cake or strawberry shortcake are my idea of a wonderful breakfast. Chocolate milk shakes are my “comfort food,” and buttered popcorn my preferred snack.

It seems there is always an area of our lives that needs improving or a major overhaul. I will focus on the positive health benefits and not on what I can’t eat. I want us both to be around a long time.

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We asked our teen granddaughters what they would like to do as a last event before school began. To my surprise, one immediately suggested going to the zoo and the other enthusiastically agreed. Grandma and Grandpa were somewhat less enthusiastic when the chosen day turned out to be in the high 90’s.

Off we went recalling our last zoo trip four years ago. The hope was to get to the zoo reasonably early, but suddenly the girls spied the Georgetown Cupcake Store and convinced Grandpa to pull over. Back we trekked several blocks to stand outside in the heat waiting to get in to buy delicious, but rather expensive cupcakes. The girls were pleased as could be since they watched the show often on TV and had designed and made their own unique birthday cakes the month before.

Since we made a conscious decision to relax and go with the flow, we all had fun. And, since we parked in front of the Georgetown Shops, another short detour through a mall delighted the girls even more. I couldn’t help but think how much more enjoyable the whole day was because we listened to what they wanted to do (it was, after all, meant to be a fun day for them) and we were flexible about the plans.

We finally made it to the zoo where our first stop was to see the pandas and they were a hit. The zookeepers had put honey on big cardboard boxes and the bears were in heaven. What could be more entertaining than watching a giant panda lounging back with a big box over his head or the other panda trying to climb head first into a box to lap up the honey.

Elephants, cheetahs, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! We had a day of good memory-making with our growing-too-quickly, young women granddaughters. Are we grateful? You bet!

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In July I had a good fortune to share a trip with my younger granddaughter as she went with me to the eWomenNetwork Conference in Dallas, Texas. She was about to turn 15 and has an exuberance about life that only a 15 year old can have. She was also sporting newly red (really red) hair with blonde streaks. This is not a quiet, shy child, but one who is quick to verbalize whatever she is thinking and to do it in a way that is nothing short of hilarious.

Did I mention Shannon is not fond of heights? Starting with the escalators at Dulles to the take off of the plane, I enjoyed the thrill through her eyes. She had last flown to Disney ten years ago, so the whole experience was new – how the ground shrank at take off, the layers of clouds, the sensations of flying, all of it.

It was such a treat for me to be with a young adult that I didn’t have to take care of but could enjoy sharing an adventure. You should hear her describe our room in the Hyatt Regency, Dallas. She never did figure out why there was a pillow shaped like a basketball on our beds. It was so neat to share meals as equals and see her interact with such courtesy to service people and business contacts alike. Oh, and I should mention she insisted on taking me up the open glass elevator to the 24th floor to see Dallas. The child who feared heights was thrilled; I, on the other hand, couldn’t look.

Shannon became my PR and marketing expert at the conference, not to mention a huge help in moving the rented harp and book displays. I am so pleased she saw so many entrepreneurial women following their dreams and lifting others up along the way. What a gift for her to have so many encourage her to follow her dreams of being an actress. What a gift for Grandma to share with a precious granddaughter.

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Earlier this year we took our soon-to-be 16-year-old granddaughter to the CEO Space Forum in Henderson, NV.  We had gone in December and vowed to take our granddaughters to Teen Feast where they would learn about “cooperative capitalism,” about themselves and their relationships with others, and about entrepreneurship.

Brianne is gifted in many areas. (I know I’m partial, but she really is.) She’s smart, artistic, musical, creative and a kind, loving person. We knew this experience would provide her the vision and contacts to fulfill her career dreams.

Going into a totally strange environment, Brianne branded herself quickly by walking around with a small stuffed wolf on her head. Since she is tall, she could be found in a crowd and remembered in later communications.

One of the joys of grand-parenting is exposing young people to new experiences. It was so good to hear her speak for herself at the coaching tables with world class mentors. Imagine hearing her say one night, as she worked at her computer around midnight, “I now have my 5-year plan.”

Of course there were the fun moments where we enjoyed the resort. As of now, the Lowe’s Lake, Las Vegas is her future honeymoon destination. I think she will always remember, too, the pink dress she bought in the little shipping village.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for being a parent. They are charming and delightful when they are babies, but when they become independent, self-thinking teens, they are even more delightful. I love being surprised by their thoughts, abilities, and dreams. They have so much to teach us when we see the world through their eyes, even though we may think we are teaching them.

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